My Warped Pet Peeves

1.  People who do not use their blinkers. They are on the car for a reason.

2.  Walking up or down an escalator that is not working.  FREAK ME OUT!

3.  Acronyms.... OK BFF BTW LOL you da bomb.com!  Dislike acronyms since my infertility and adoption days (sounds like it was so long ago ahe?)

4.  Ice that tastes like something rank from the freezer.

5.  Those who cough or sneeze and do not cover their mouth... REALLY?

6.  Getting an order of fries (like I need them) and they are half empty.  I AM A HALF FULL person but when it comes to my fries if you cheat me of some then I become half  EMPTY real fast.

7.  Shoes that eat your socks.  (Are they just that hungry?)

8.  Know it alls ---- I won't get started on this.

9.  BLOWING YOUR NOSE AT THE DINNER TABLE.... dude, I have just had an incredible Thanksgiving dinner or a nice meal out and now you are going to blow your nose at the table? (the dude is not my husband as he would never be this nasty).  I also love it when you (Meaning any person in general) are at my house and you blow your nose at my table on my nice table linen napkins.

10.  Shots of any kind or type. Would think that after infertility I would be over this but I am NOT ANYWHERE CLOSE to being over it.

Grandma was supposed to Marry Howard Brown

Instead of marrying Howard Brown she married Albert Bryant.  My grandpa (fondly nicknamed "Pete" by my mother) was truly a man of his own will.  Grandma (Flossie) yes, that is truly her real name was supposed to marry Howard within a week.  She was walking down the road and found my grandpa in a ditch. Literally she pulled him out of it.  Cold, drunk and talking gibberish he was.  The next day Grandma told Howard Brown that she couldn't marry him.  She married my grandpa (Albert or aka Pete) a few weeks later on Halloween.  Grandma always said it was a real trick. 

So that's how it started and pretty much from that start has been the way life has been.  Grandma was one of the smartest women ever.  Her 5th grade education need not fool anyone.  I will never forget her helping me with college math.  Amazing how a woman could figure out stuff and never have what we consider a 'formal education'.  Goes to show that while educations are good and they can help you go far... it doesn't mean the brightest of people are the only ones who have them.  My grandmother quit school to help her mother take care of her brothers and sisters.  She had a sister named Bertha and there were a few other siblings too.  I always giggled as a kid that my grandma's name was Flossie and she had a sister named Bertha.  Unfortunately from what I remember her sisters name fit her perfectly. 

My maternal grandmother was named Gladys.  So my sister and I to this day call each other Gladys (that's me) and Flossie (that's my sis).  My sister and I are nine months apart so we set the model on sibling rivalry and sisters not getting along.  Thankfully that all changed when we were in high school.  It is fun going shopping with her and shouting out  "Flossie".  People just turn around and stare.  They especially stare when I tell Flossie that she needs to remember to get her hemorrhoid ointment.  (That one always gets a few laughs). 

So back to Howard Brown... well he was broken hearted and devastated about Flossie marrying that "DRUNK ALBERT BRYANT".  Grandpa earned his name just about each and every day of his life.  When I was in college I went Grandma's and she and my Aunt Jean were cleaning like crazy.  I asked why and was told that Howard Brown was coming to visit.  He and his wife showed up early.  The curtains were not put back up in the living room and Grandma looked like she had been in the garden all day even though she had only been in it the better part of the morning.  She was a real country girl.  Howard Brown came into the house went straight to Grandma.  He hugged her and kissed her and turned to his wife and introduced them to each other.  Howard's wife said to my Grandma "So, you are the woman that my husband has always been in love with".  My grandma said "Well, I guess I am ".  My dad shows up a little later and meets Howard Brown and says to him "You are the man who was supposed to be my father".  It went on from there.  Grandma was really nervous about his visit.  After that visit Howard called Grandma just about every week.  He was still so in love with her but my grandma only had eyes for "Grandpa/ Pete".  How sweet it was.  How sad it was too that Howard went his entire life being in love with her when she was with someone else.  This is not an uncommon story for sure.  Grandma married my grandfather and he was the type man that he was.  Don't get me wrong...Grandpa was a wonderful person... you just had to catch him when he was not with the bottle... which for a long time was few and far between.  A VERY BAD CAR WRECK made him sober up. He went from about the time I graduated from high school till his death in 1997 without a single drink.  That was about 15 years.  Every time I saw him I told him how proud I was of him.  He was so bashful he would blush.  I remember being a really little girl and getting out of the car  during one visit and seeing grandpa sitting on the front porch.  I ran up to him and he had cut his finger. He was sewing it up himself with a needle and thread.  Wouldn't the insurance companies love him as a patient nowadays? 

We used to stay with Grandma and Grandpa a lot during the summer. It was so much fun staying on the farm.  One day Grandpa left and he didn't come back for a few days but when he did he had two ponies with him.  Apparently he had won them at the turkey shoot.  From that day on my sister and I had ponies.  Mine was named Dusty and hers was named Penna.  Her pony always laid down when you were trying to ride it and it was so funny.  They were miniature ponies so they never got big.  I am not sure what happened to them but I can imagine that they were lost during a drunken' adventure.  Oh well. 

So that is the start to my family...at least a couple generations before my arrival.  However let the above serve as the overall plot and you will bet many of the 'rest of the stories' show up here.  It was a crazy, absurd, wacky, weird and warped childhood but it was mine and I wouldn't have wanted it to be any different (well, now that I look back on it).  It totally made me who I am today.  The good, bad and whatever else may come along.